All emails will be hand written on parchment paper by my personal assistant, who then acts out your message using collector's figurines from the hit tv series, WKRP. This is done every Wednesday evenings during commercial breaks while I watch Wheel of Fortune Season 12 on VHS.
All this to say, every email will be replied via fax. So leave a toll free fax number in your message. 8x10" glossy photos of my body will be sent with replies, while supplies last.
The project merges so many things into a simple feat of magic. Best viewed in Google Chrome. This is an example of the movie with my first address in Canada.
Serendipitous absurdity: is there anything the interwebs can't do?
In a few bursts of keys, an asinine chat between 2 coworkers culminates into a glorious apex.
10:37 Dom: i can’t belive i am part of the lowest denominator, wait yes i can
10:38 raymona: ha i’ve helped so many people find that button
10:39 Dom: btw, your stock rose bigtime now, i know you re a mathlete
10:39 raymona: ex mathlete haven’t flexed those muscles in ten years
10:40 Dom: my mc name is calculus cause i am a poser
10:40 raymona: ha
10:40 Dom: we used to have office freestyle battle over chat
10:41 raymona: ya…that sounds so awesome :|
10:41 Dom: sarcasm is the last bastion for the weak minded
10:42 raymona: ya? well you’re ugly
10:42 Dom x.392: i am devout follower of the opposite rule
10:43 raymona: did you just try to say “i’m rubber and you’re glue…” in a more clever way?
10:43 Dom: never heard of that plus that doesn t even make sense detlef ruuber/glue mean the insult defelcts back to you. opposite means that you were calling me gorgeous
nice work russell crowe
10:44 raymona: it’s so boring talking to you
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THEN THIS LINK POPS UP ON MY TWITTER STREAM VIA @PleaseEnjoy
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10:44 Dom:
pretty much sums this whole chat
10:45 raymona: funny ad…ha why can’t you guys make funny shit like that?
Personally, I have been an owner of a variation of the (non-Burberry) trench coat since my earliest days in Canada. I can thank my mother and Inspector Clouseau for that style influence.
Compassion, professionalism and about 10,000 hours of practice. Thom Yorke stops mid song, gets a passed-out fan some medical attention, then picks up without missing a beat. Skip to 27:50 mark.
Got a sweet photo, but you don’t want to fork over $1 at your local Ikea for a genuine Chinese-made photo stand? No worries, all you need is a single genuine Chinese-made Post-It® Note and some finger dexterity.
Here’s a quick how-to to make you very own Post-It Note photo stand. Enjoy.
Just had one of the best lunch meetings to date. Person was energetic, full of life and had great insight on the business of fun, and its importance on productivity. He made me feel like he was really listening and not just waiting for his turn to speak. I salute you sir.
They should be wearing matching insane asylum outfits. Nice. Now have them do a chest bump in the air. Perfect. Ok, arch the guy so it looks like he broke his spinal cord from T6 to T9. Excellent, send this badboy to press. And that’s how you design by committee people.
Dom: dude you should totally design the 25th ultimate logo
Jefferson: jefferson don't work on spec
Dom: don't you get free knee braces
Jefferson: i'm only at the ankle brace stage
Dom: oic, you're only giving 150%. boo-urns
Jefferson: i know man … what happened to me, right?
Dom: those lamé sashes changed you man. where s the hunger?
Jefferson: i'm finally ok with who i am.
Dom: well good lord. since when does that count? what are you? a middle aged mother of 4?
Jefferson: two thirds right
Dom: when does the pat test come back for the 4th child?
Jefferson: that'll be tied up in the courts for years, if I have any say
Dom: btw, this chat in going on my tumblr account
Jefferson: been trying to get published by a respected publication such as yours for ages. i thank you for thee opportunity, and promise not to let down you, my fans or the interwebs at large.
Dom: i am not adding that last msg, journalistic integrity etc etc
Jefferson: i'll add it MY tumblr g-darn suitcase fusion wont start …. gotta restart
Dom: suitcase fusion is for ass-captains, try fontexplorer x pro...for un-ass-captains
Bespoke and custom clothing handcrafted by a small team of artisans in the middle of Brooklyn, NY. What part of that don’t you like? Men, ladies, children and even small woodland animals respect a man in well-fitting attire.
The Office Snuggie®. Add conference calling to the existing list of great value propositions. Checkout the wicked reading light included in the box as a gift!!
Tablet, smablet. It’s all about the Macintosh 512k. After collecting dust in my parent’s basement for 8 years, this 26 year old workhorse booted up on the first click. Victory! Now, I just need to score about +100,000 floppies and then we’ll be in business.
Air Jordan 2010, the shoe equivalent of Rosie Perez making out with Arsenio Hall in the back of a ‘92 Taurus wrapped in Cosby sweaters. New signature ‘window’ signifies his ability to see-through opponents. The rest of design and material choices signifies his inability to have good taste. Someone at Nike HQ needs to say no to his design influence. No doubt these will be hot sellers with the blubbering masses.
Evidently the latest episode of ‘Dexter’ has captivated the imagination of two of my colleagues. Here’s a clip of their riveting analysis at my desk. Please note: I don’t watch Dexter.
1 Man. 1 Mustache. 1 Charity. Watch Follicles of Narnia and donate to www.m4kottawa.org. They say Asians can’t grow mustaches, and to them I say they made a friekin’ movie with an Asian mustache.
Watch a preview of the bonus DVD material that comes with the upcoming 8-DVD release of the epic Follicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Mustache. Watch and listen as the director and cast share their insight on the making of the soon to be classic of cinema hairité.
“This is for real?” — Mary Hart, Entertainment Tonight
“The entire movies rests on the broad upper lip of the wonderful story-telling. Bravo mustache, bravo.” — Gene Shalit, NBC
M4K is entering the final lap for the funding drive, visit www.m4kottawa.org and donate.
About Mustaches for Kids Ottawa: This winter in Ottawa, a yet-to-be-determined number of brave souls will sacrifice their faces – and dignities – as Growers for Mustaches for Kids. Our goal is to use our pushbrooms to raise $5,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Canada (Eastern Ontario chapter).
Has Apple created an usability breakthrough or design innovation wank? http://bit.ly/3ktLH
Audio
Leather pounding hardwood, is there a better union? Hardley Constant, this is your siren call.
10 plays
Evidently the latest episode of ‘Dexter’ has captivated the imagination of two of my colleagues. Here’s a clip of their riveting analysis at my desk. Please note: I don’t watch Dexter.
20 plays
Look who’s all shy and nervous when the mike is on.